Monday, February 20, 2012

First Challenge (MG Fantasy)

Hi,

because it was so much fun last time, I decided to do Rachael's challenges again. Here is the first one:
Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count. 
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:

  • end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count)

  • include the word "orange" in the story

  • write in the same genre you normally write

  • make your story 200 words exactly!


Here is my try. It fulfills all added challenges. Enjoy:

Another world

Shadows crept across the wall, it grew dark. The orange wallpaper turned grey. Jude pressed his eyes close trying to fall asleep, but no matter how much he had romped around during the day, he wasn't tired enough.

He curled up into a ball. From below his covers, he peaked at the wall beside the door. A glowing line appeared and widened to an arch.

Clonk, clonk – the central heating rumbled. Now, his last chance of sleeping was gone. Soft steps came closer, and Jude did his best to feign slumber. He didn't need to look at the monster. His memory from the first encounter was still vivid. The fanged beast with the green fur had begged him for three nights to follow it. If only it didn't look so dangerous.

A soft paw caressed his cheek. "Please, Jude, come. I promise you'll be back before morning." The monster sounded like a singing angel. "You're the only one who can help me free the princess."

Jude thought. Here was his chance to be a hero. Was he to chicken to help a monster? He gathered his courage, got out of bed, and followed the monster through the arch. Everything faded.

I hope you liked it,
Cat

45 comments:

Jess said...

Cool premise! A boy helping a monster save a princess? That's unexpected! Great job! I love it!

I'm entry #19

jennykellerford said...

I really like this. It's a great beginning.

I think it's 'Was he too chicken to help a monster?' :)

Good work!

P.S.: I like the look of your blog and enjoyed reading about you. I lived in Germany for awhile when I was young. Augsburg. I was born in Neu Ulm. It's nice to meet you.

David P. King said...

A summons to rescue the princess. What young lad wouldn't jump on a chance like that? Then again, if there is a monster involved ...

Nice one! :)

Alynza Smith said...

Very interesting. This almost seems to fit middle grade readers. It would be a wonderful story! Great job!

Michael Offutt, Tebow Cult Initiate said...

I do like it! I've already assigned a judge to take a look at it so I wish you luck!

S.P. Bowers said...

Interesting idea. It leaves me wondering though, did the monster really need help, or was it a ploy to get the boy to follow?

Cat said...

Thanks, and the to-too issue is one of my favorite spelling mistakes. I'll change it asap.

Cat said...

@S.P. I don't really know. I would need to "research" the monsters first to find out how it ticks. Is it an only monster or is it from a whole tribe of monsters? Why did it choose Jude, why not someone older, stronger? What is Jude's family life like? Why didn't he tell his parents about this "nightmare"?

Oh dear, I can see yet another novel idea pop up -- and I have so little time as it is. ;-)

Carrie Butler said...

Intriguing! I want more. :)

Kevin Hiatt said...

Wait.. I must know if the monster is good or evil. Really liked it.

Alyssa said...

Nice, you make me want to read more! :) great job!

I'm #37

Humpty Dumpty said...

This could be the start of a wonderful fantasy story. :) Very nice!

Ashley Nixon said...

I feel like this could be a cool, ever-lasting story like "Where the Wild Things Are!" I can totally see it illustrated! Great job!

Ann Cory said...

Great job! I liked where you took the story, only I want to read more. This could be a fabulous fantasy or adventure story, something like Labyrinth or Neverending Story - well done :)

Cat said...

Thanks for the praise. I'll do my best to turn this into a longer story some time soon.

Sally said...

Perhaps the monster is a 'gentle giant' or somebody stuck in a monster's body and needs to save the princess to save himself - so many unanswered questions. Nice that it leaves me wanting to know more.

Tara Tyler said...

helping a monster? great concept!

Margo Kelly said...

A fun one! Nicely done.

Sherri Lackey said...

Nice post! Stopping by to say hi as I make my way through the challenge posts. I'm #62 if you want to stop by my blog! I see on your blog that you were born in the same year I was. That was a good year. :)

RaeAnn said...

Whoa.So what happens next? I'm waiting...

Charmaine Clancy said...

Loved it - great MG feel!

Siv Maria said...

Very nice indeed.

alexia said...

Cool! Love the monster.

Lori Ann Freeland said...

Fun! Fun! I'm at the end #111.

AveryMarsh said...

Aw, this story took my imagination for a ride, imagining what the monster looks like and the adventure before them. Great piece.

Gwen said...

Good for Jude, starting on an adventure. I hope I'd have similar courage if given the chance.

Melanie Fowler said...

This is really cool. It reminds me a bit of monsters inc, how there are monsters in our world. But this really would be an awesome story!

Marieke said...

This is such a cute start! And who wouldn't want to go on an adventure like that? Good job!

Traci Kenworth said...

More!!

Miranda Hardy said...

Very clever story. I enjoyed it very much!

Nick Wilford said...

Cute story that kids would definitely love. I just hope Jude doesn't come to a sticky end!

Cynthia said...

A monster that might not really be a monster...I'm curious to know what happens next!

Kate said...

Hi fellow campaigner - you've just been tagged :-)

Cat said...

WOW, so many new comments in such a short time! Thanks a ton.

Ainsley Shay said...

Congratulations! Your story has been shortlisted and you're moving on to stage 2!! Good luck!

Nancy Thompson said...

I did, I did like! Haven't seen much MG in the challenge. Good job! I'm a new follower and entry #96.

villagedrummerfiction said...

This would be a good trailer or synopsis of a novel. Are you going to expand the premise. It is a good one. I really enjoyed this.

I'm #88. Comments welcome.

Richard Alan

Cat said...

Thanks for shortlisting. And yes, I'm thinking about expanding this story but not anytime soon. I've got too much on my plate at the moment as it is.

Naresh Khoisnam said...

Great and it seems just taken out of a fairy tale :)

A typo I just come across "His memory from the fist (first) encounter was still vivid."

Liked it a lot :)

Cat said...

oops. I'll change it right now.

T.D. McFrost said...

This was awesome Cat! Who woulda thought a boy and a monster could team up to save a princess?

Your imagination rocks! :D

C.M.Brown said...

Cute story, left me wanting more!

Stuart Nager said...

A boy and his monster!! Damsels, be ready!!

Tale Spinning, #58

Sara Biren said...

My son's name is Jude. :) Nice work. I'm a new follower from the campaign.

Jennifer McMurrain said...

Really enjoyed this, very clever. Can't wait to read more.